I jumped into the lake on a hot, sunny Independence Day. Dive and dip.

Then resurface to float on my back, like a Flatsy doll. Mama used to float on her back like a Flatsy doll, back in the day when Flatsy dolls still existed. Back in the day when Mama still did, too.

Lying supine like that, memories of her rising to the surface like pond scum, I closed my eyes. Everything did not change to black as everything is wont to do with shut eyes. No, the sun pierced the shadows of my eyelids and turned the world to red – an orange-red – burnishing my mind until a question loomed and would not relent until I asked it:

Mama, where are you?