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Joshua Wichterich is a talented author and illustrator (who illustrated my novel The Journal of Elaine Nicaise). As a man, he is an inspiration. He lost seventy-five pounds of fat and built muscle in its place by changing his lifestyle. He is a devoted husband to the woman he met at Christian summer camp when they were teen counselors, and together they are raising their two beautiful, happy, well-adjusted children on the bayou. I would say he’s living the dream.

Joshua Wichterich, author, illustrator, amazing human

But guess what, folks? He is also a philosopher. I discovered that little hidden gem when I scrolled past his Instagram post about living on the bayou. Which bayou is of little importance. It’s just that he humorously describes life in Louisiana in such a way that any native will chuckle, and anyone else can glimpse into a world that belongs exclusively to us (but one that we eagerly share).

Bayou Folks, by Joshua Wichterich 

Bayou folks be like:

If it ain’t dry, it’s extra-moist wet.
If it ain’t hot, it’s extra-steamy hot.
If there’s crawfish, there’s alligators.
If the ducks ain’t swimmin’, run.
If it’s fall, it’s gumbo time.
If it’s cold, it’s Mardi Gras.
If it snows, stock up on toilet paper, bread, and water.
If they say “New Orleeeeens,” bye.
If you don’t like football or spicy, somethin’ wrong wit’ you.
If it’s a cockroach, it’s your pet.
If it ain’t suckin’ your blood, it’s weird.
If hurricanes ain’t comin’, praise the Lord, thank you, Jesus, hallelujah!