Yesterday is dead.
Tomorrow isn’t born.
We can only live in the present.
~Amrit Desai
I spent a lot of time outdoors on this last weekend of summer. I always do so when summer is on the wane, even though – for me – a certain amount of melancholia accompanies the arrival of fall. Though I love the milder temperatures and changing colors, I am reminded that time is passing, my beautiful child is another year older (and so am I), and I am only a passerby on this planet.
But this summer was a good one, and I have discovered Life from a different angle. My presence here, though ephemeral, does not have to be defined by “the other,” whether that be circumstances or people. All I have to do is be here. Now. But to do so, I have to be present – and my past conditioning dictates that I despair over the past or worry about the future. All those fears have not melted away – ten years of incessant change and enveloping sadness do not disappear in one summer.
So Norm coaxed me outside and created diversion – as he always does – when he senses that Life has its hooks in my thoughts. We raked leaves, filled in holes, stacked wood, and repotted saplings. And when the work was done, he took me on the water.
Maybe I came to the bayou to hide from Life. Maybe I came here to discover it. I still haven’t figured out why I am here, why anyone is anywhere. But the man I married knows, and that is enough for me. His strength encourages me to challenge old thought patterns and to live with intention.
And my thoughts rise on the path to the sun.
I too am lucky enough to have a husband who has helped me to heal from life’s wounds in many ways. As for the fall, increasingly I find it a very useful reminder that there is a Time to Rest. I’m not very good at stopping and resting, I feel guilty if I’m not up and doing – but Nature shows us how rest is crucial to growth. Take care X
Indeed, rest is part of the process of growth and rejuvenation. (That’s what I use winter for!) xo
Beautiful post, with words that give me pause. I am so happy for you that you have a supportive,caring husband. I try so hard to accept who I am, but it is hard when I’m not sure at times,
Yes, I understand, Bonnie. I’m still trying to figure out who I am. At this stage, I’m not sure it really matters. I am here. This is what I know. xo
Dearest Stacy,
You have a dear and very wise husband! We all have some episodes with fears that at times want to control our thoughts. But by letting that happen, it is like lending free rent inside our brain… For what? Life is too precious and whatever lies behind us, there is still so much beauty ahead of us! Happiness we find above all in nature, in our own little paradise, where we grow trees from saplings, our green children that we baby until they are strong and can withstand the cold and heat and drought and flooding… Nature always gets back to its former beauty and thus teaching us a lesson to do the very same and in doing so enjoy all the little wonders around us.
Sending you hugs and a happy belated Birthday to you and your daughter!
Mariette
I like that – “free rent inside our brains.” No more free space inside my brain (as far as I can consciously dictate this) xo
Oh, yes, Stacy, I so relate–being here now! Your photos are lovely, as well as your thoughts, my friend from way down south.
I have learned a thing or two from you, Kathy, my friend from way up north. xo
Go Norm!
I’ll be savoring summer on a surfboard today.
Go Guap! (Missing your writing this summer, but nothing is perfect.) xo