Though the calendar says that fall has arrived, vestiges of summer remain in the Deep South. As Summer reluctantly loosens her grip, her flora dutifully hang on to build a bridge from one season to the next.
Anxiously, I wait for autumn. The melancholy season. The season of change. The season of endless longing and doubt and questions. Anxiously, I wait.
Usually.
But not this autumn.
This year, though I see the luscious satsumas waiting for cooler weather to morph into a fiery orange, I accept the fruit in its verdant perfection. Orange is not the only color. Green is what it is supposed to be, now.
Summer is where I must exist now, and so I do. The choice is not mine anyway, but as long as I am here, I should be here fully.
Dying leaves are gentle reminders that fall is looming.
Is it possible to be simultaneously strengthened and weakened by the season’s melancholy? To be renewed by its endless possibilities while being stripped of reserve for fear of change?
Is it possible to be happy and sad at the same time? Is is possible to reveal one’s soul to the world all the while locking it safely within oneself?
It’s time to breathe deeply and listen. Answers don’t come otherwise, and even though time sometimes appears to stand still on this bayou, ever will it trudge onward. I am still here, now, not longing for more. Just longing for more time.
Stacy Rambles 
In my experience, it’s absolutely possible to feel both sad and happy at the same time, about lots of things. My daughter and I were discussing this afternoon how the fall colours are created by the lack of chlorophyll – in other words they were there underneath the green all along. I find that very comforting (things are not always as they seem), and also the idea that nature really deserves a rest after all her efforts during the summer!
I love that sentiment, Christine – that those fall colors were there all along. That is very comforting. ❤
Fall does bring out those conflicting emotions as you have written so beautifully and poetically. I do love fall – especially the colors and the crisp air and the sweaters! I love cozy sweaters and a nice warm fire. It’s sad to see summer go, though. Hugs xoxo
Cozy sweaters and fires in the fireplace are my favorite – but it will be another month or two before that happens here! ❤
So lovely post, so interesting thoughts….We still enjoy summer days here and an Indian summer but I’m looking forward for chilly weather.
So glad to catch up with you again!
Thanks for stopping by, Olympia. Finally, the temps dropped below 90 degrees here, and we are enjoying a ‘cool” spell for the next few days. ❤
Dearest Stacy,
Lovely crepe myrtle you have; LOVE that color. Oh I feel melancholic too as I always, every fall, want to hold on to the days of summer. Not ready, not willing to let go, to let more noises penetrate through the formerly walled trees and shrubs that kept the world at bay. Now you can hear from afar… the walls of the leaves are opening up; totally that is – with time. We than can escape to the cozy indoors where we again surround us with the last memories of the sunny times, some fruits or preserves or even some photos… Blogging kind of preserves best of all!
Hugs,
Mariette
Blogging does preserve the best of all; you are right about that, Mariette. I love autumn – it is my favorite season, but I cannot help but fear the change. It is just my way, I suppose. ❤
I am not sure how I feel about fall. It is here in full force now, though it is beautiful and sunny today, it also brings a gloominess sometimes. It’s life, I guess, and for me, being in the ‘fall’ of my life, I am thankful just for today. It is enough.
Yes, I understand your sentiment, Bonnie. Today is enough – as it should be, for it is all we have, isn’t it? ❤
Yes, to your questions about both strengthened and weakened. Our colors are so gorgeous here in the north that it’s possible to get high as a kite. However, the impending winters will be oooooohhhhh so long and black and white. Lovely post, Ms. Stacy!
Long and black and white – that doesn’t sound so bad to this winter soul. I think it’s the change that brings on the melancholy more than the season (for me). I don’t do well with change. But once the transition has occurred, I’m good – and in love again with fall (or winter). ❤
That is so interesting. We are kinda the opposite there. I *usually* love change. It’s the long same-ness which brings on the melancholy. People are so fascinating!
That IS interesting, Kathy. I think you’re better equipped for this life than I am. Change is inevitable (unfortunately!!).
i love fall in the south, butterflies and black eyed susans. where i grew up it was melancholy and gray, everything blazed for a moment and then….died/slept till spring. fall is gentler here, eases in.
“Fall is gentler here.” Yes, Gala, that sums it up quite nicely. ❤
Being in a place, in a moment is wonderful. And its definitely possible to be happy and sad at the same time.
Fall is my least favorite season.
It has always been my favorite season, but it also makes me the saddest. I know, that’s weird. ❤